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Saturday, 26 July 2008 03:01 |
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For most of us, our first father is God. A large majority of the
world considers God as their father; or rather call God as their
father. God is father to all in such believing families. What
about biological fathers? How does one become a good father?
What are the yardsticks by which we measure the goodness of a
father?
This is a subject for discussion and application of thought. Who
is the final judge about the goodness of the father? The mother?
The children? The society? What qualities should a man possess
to be called a good father? These questions generate a bigger
debate.
Can a mother judge her husband about his goodness as a father?
That judgment can depend on so many probabilities. What are her
yardsticks? How was her father? What are her beliefs? Do these
beliefs match those of her husband? How much does she love her
husband and her children? If it comes to taking sides, whose
side will she take? Will it be a well thought-out decision or
one colored by many other factors?
Can the father judge his own goodness? What may be correct
according to him, may be wrong according to her children? The
man carries his psychological baggage and many times may be
prejudging and expecting responses. Generation gap plays a
bigger role. As the world progresses, priorities, tastes,
values, everything undergoes change. Therefore a man himself
cannot pronounce himself as a good father. Children will contest
that, if he does not accept their beliefs. Which child will call
his father a good father, if the father has set ideas about
partying, relationships, studies, etc.
Can the children judge their father? That is difficult to
believe. The children surely wish for a father who not only
agrees with their ideas, but supports them in all possible ways
in enjoying life. What if a child is such that he believes that
enjoying life is more important than studying for examinations?
If we think more about this subject, it will result into more
confusion. What is to be thought about fatherhood and how does
one become a good father? The best way out might be to accept
the generation gap, listen to children before giving orders,
have a fair debate on all important issues, and tell children
exactly about values that will decide the final action. After
doing all this, one should simply do one"s duty and leave the
rest to prayers. And before attempting to become a good father,
one should first become a good man. A drug addict can never
become a good father, nor a habitual liar.
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