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Thursday, 21 August 2008 10:00 |
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Every parent of a newborn will inevitably deal with many
sleepless nights. Babies, of course, have many needs, and when
they awake in the night they will cry for their mothers. One of
your most important tasks as a parent is to establish good
sleeping habits in your child. Every baby must go through a
transition where he adjusts from sleeping with his mother to
sleeping on his own. This is a natural transition of course, and
takes some time, but there are things you can do to expedite the
process. Not only will this help your child develop better sleep
habits, it will allow you to get some much needed rest.
Many baby sleep tips exist, and every parent would be well
advised to research many different baby sleep tips. It is
important to keep in mind, however, that no baby sleep tip
should be considered hard and fast rules. As a parent, your
instincts know best, and when you are in doubt in regards to
baby sleep tips remind yourself of this fact. Many first time
parents experience insecurity in terms of whether their
decisions and strategies are correct, and while you shouldn"t be
uninformed, you should always view baby sleep tips through the
lens of your own parental instincts.
Now, one thing you should consider when trying to get your
newborn to sleep better at night is what his feeding habits are.
Oftentimes the child will be active and otherwise busy during
the day, and won"t be doing a lot of feeding. The problem with
this, of course, is that he will then wake you repeatedly
thought the night for feedings. A good technique, then, for
getting your baby to sleep better at night is to "tank up"
during the day. Try feeding every three hours during the day.
This will not only ensure that you child"s appetite is satisfied
for the night, but will create an important association: you
want your child to associate feeding with the daytime. If your
child does wake up in the night for a feeding, try to get him to
do one full feeding the first time he wakes up. If you don"t do
this, you encourage him to "snack" throughout the night - i.e.
wake you up every couple hours.
Again, it is important to understand these baby feeding tips
should not be taken as hard and fast rules, but rather as
guidance. In a general way, you want to create both daytime and
sleep associations for your child. You want him to associate
feeding and play with something that happens during the day, and
lullabies and baths as something that happens at night, before
bed. By doing this you ease the transition between sleep and
wakefulness, which is the ultimate goal in terms of putting your
child to bed easily. If, however, your child doesn"t want to
feed every three hours, don"t force him. Similarly, don"t force
a full feeding when you wake him at night. Rather, think of the
bigger picture: by creating general habits and associations for
your child, you will ensure a hasty and healthy sleep
development.
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Thursday, 21 August 2008 08:00 |
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As a new parent, one of your priorities will be to establish
good sleeping habits with your newborn. Your baby needs to learn
to sleep on his own; the transition from sleeping with his
mother to sleeping by himself takes some time. Of course, as add
added bonus, if you get your baby to learn to sleep on his own
you will also get some much needed rest yourself. To instill
good sleeping habits in your baby, research and try to employ
different baby sleep tips: try a lot of things and see what
works for you, and don"t be afraid to trust your instincts.
Many baby sleep tips center on the idea of establishing routines
and associations for your child between nighttime and sleep. The
sooner you child begins to associate bedtime with sleep, the
more likely he is to be able to go to sleep without a fuss. A
period that is often overlooked, however, in establishing day
vs. night associations, is the period of "transition" - that is,
the one between being awake and falling asleep. Here are some
transitioning techniques to try:
Try what is sometimes called "fathering down." Just before
placing the baby into bed, the father should cradle the baby in
such a way that the baby"s head rests on the father neck. The
father should then talk gently to the child. Because the male"s
voice is much deeper than the female"s, babies are often more
soothed by it, and will fall asleep more easily after being
exposed to it for some time.
You can also try what is sometimes referred to as "wearing
down." This is effective if your baby has been active throughout
the day and is too excited to go to bed easily. All you have to
do is place your baby in a sling or carrier - "wear him" in
other words - for about half an hour before his bedtime. Simply
go about your regular household activities: being close to a
parent and slowly rocked about before bedtime will provide your
child with an easier transition from being awake to being asleep.
Finally, if you"ve exhausted other options, you can go for the
tried and true method of "driving down." Most parents are
probably familiar with this as a last resort: place your baby in
the car and drive around for awhile until he falls asleep. This
one, while inconvenient, usually works every time, and if you
desperately need some sleep it can be a godsend.
Obviously, you don"t want to do things like drive around every
night to get your child to sleep. Nor do you want to have to
carry him around in a sling. The idea, though, is to start with
these more drastic techniques and then slowly ease out of them.
Keep in mind what a major transition your baby is going through
when he is tiny: he"s never slept on his own before. He simply
doesn"t know how to transition himself from being awake to being
asleep. By employing these transition techniques you will be
slowly teaching him how to do so, and as they are gradually
removed your baby will learn good sleeping habits, which will
ensure that both you and your child get a good night"s rest.
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Sunday, 06 April 2008 02:00 |
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If I had been born at home, surely it would have been into a
family bed. As it was, my parents brought me home from the
hospital, where I was promptly given a place aside my mother in
the bed which slept us all: mom, dad, my brother and I. I nursed
until I was nearly four, when the arrival of a younger sibling
forced shared privileges. I was not, as a rule, thrilled with
anything that wasn’t mine alone and so gave up the breast and my
place between my parents for slightly more independence on the
outskirts of our small country. I slept on the edge (had my
parents been a bit more intuitive, they may have recognized this
as foreshadowing, and thus been more fully prepared for the
journey of parenting a true Sagittarian daughter…).
By that time, the eldest Dotson child had moved on and now slept
in a wood framed bunk bed hand crafted by our father. In a
family of five, he was the only to sleep solo. This left me as
the senior child in the family bed, a title that lent me a
certain amount of privilege, and these are the days I remember
most when I think back to the last time I slept in the same bed
with someone under the age of two.
I remember the stories of my infancy, more from the telling and
re-telling, I am sure, than from genuine memory; countless
friends and family have heard of the night, sleep deprived and
exhausted, that my mother lay me down to sleep next to my
father. I slept huddled in his arms on the side of the bed, my
mother an ocean away on her end of the king size waterbed. Lured
by the scent of her leaking breasts and some clearly primal
instinct, I managed, at just a few months of age, to roll over
my father and across the broad expanse until my lips at last
found the relief of my mother’s waiting nipple. This could have
been my first successful experience at rolling over. Suffice to
say, mom did not sleep as anticipated, but who could deny such
determination?
For years I laughed at this story, until I had a toddler of my
own and understood, finally, the sacrifice that lay at the heart
of attachment parenting. Despite the pain of too many sleepless
nights, I am hooked, just like my mother before me. I am a
co-sleeper at heart, a habit brought on by genetics, it would
seem. I know the warmth of my parents’ bodies, a peace surpassed
only by the warmth of own daughter’s sleeping body as she lay-
covering me in bruises with impulse kicks and left hooks-
sleeping next to me. A woman of the new millennium I never
thought I would stand for such abuse, and yet imagine my
surprise at not only standing for it, but demanding it continue.
While I can’t honestly say I love the pain, I can say I will
happily put up with it. And while I am anxious for the day when
she can confidently spend a night- or even an hour- asleep
without me (a time to finally let the wounds begin to heal), I
dread the day she moves out of my bed and into her own. Yet
another instance, I am sure, when she will be ready for the next
step far before I am ready for her to be ready. I suppose I will
have to get used to this.
But this is not a story about the virtues of co-sleeping, for if
you are a co-sleeper you have doubtless already read a library
of those. Nope, this is the story of a co-sleeping alumna. This
is the story of why we do it: it is what you will remember at
three o’clock in the morning when your twenty-three month old
rolls over to nurse for the seventh time that night; this is a
mantra you can chant when your sex life has disappeared
completely and your idea of well-rested is a solid three hours;
this is the answer to your repeated “why’s?” when your bed
becomes so crowded that, like my mother, you end up spending
your nights lying crosswise at the foot of the bed hoping for
just an hour. It is as simple as this: co-sleepers breed
co-sleepers. You’re giving your grandchildren the gift of their
parents’ bodies. You’re breeding a noble instinct, a culture of
love and commitment, of families raising families instead of a
technology of baby monitors and flashing light mobiles. That
baby you are cuddling will likely someday know all it is to
cuddle his or her own baby deep into the night, evening after
evening for years and years.
I feel safe in the night, for all the ways my parents held me
rather than a crib. Between my mother and my father the night
time was never more dangerous than the day, and when the slow
transition of movement into my own bed began, my parents
continued to cuddle me in innovative ways. It is only now, with
a daughter of my own to keep me company through the long and
short nights, that I understand the dual gift of co-sleeping. I
thank my parents for the nights they kept me close, for the bond
created and the emptiness avoided, for all the good I know
co-sleeping does for a child. But who knew that the gifts extend
way beyond childhood? Today I thank my parents for teaching me
to continue the tradition; for giving to both me, and my
daughter, these nights we now share together. And lord knows, I
hope that one day Ruby will lie in bed next to her own sleeping
infant, reveling in the little body so inspired by her side.
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